Who was it that sang "Love Hurts"...?? And why did they have to be right...!?
I'm experiencing this at the moment. All because me and my boyfriend have different needs, and different ways of communicating our needs. When I say something about my needs, he feels I'm nagging... And when I don't experience him comply with my needs (as I believe I do with his...in which he actually agrees that I do) I think he hasn't heard what I've been saying, so I start all over again...
Isn't it so that when you are in a relationship, you are also in a position where you give freely to your partner, but you also get from your partner...? It's supposed to be a living symbiosis where both parts gain from the relationship?? It's supposed to be in balance...? And when one part is giving more than what he or she gets, wouldn't that put the relationship in an unbalance?
Why do I feel so insecure, when all I want to feel is happiness and love for my boyfriend? Why is love so hard?
I'm experiencing this at the moment. All because me and my boyfriend have different needs, and different ways of communicating our needs. When I say something about my needs, he feels I'm nagging... And when I don't experience him comply with my needs (as I believe I do with his...in which he actually agrees that I do) I think he hasn't heard what I've been saying, so I start all over again...
Isn't it so that when you are in a relationship, you are also in a position where you give freely to your partner, but you also get from your partner...? It's supposed to be a living symbiosis where both parts gain from the relationship?? It's supposed to be in balance...? And when one part is giving more than what he or she gets, wouldn't that put the relationship in an unbalance?
Why do I feel so insecure, when all I want to feel is happiness and love for my boyfriend? Why is love so hard?
8 comments:
Hi! I came here through Nerdine.
I have always believed that there is a natural balance to love. At times, the scales may tip more in favor of one, and at other times, the other. It's never an even scale, but it does even out.
There may be other aspects of the relationship where he may give more than you do, and you may just not realize it. Love is about give and take, and about coming to a compromise about issues that both are important to you.
I think that continued communication between the two of you will make you both more aware of what you both want and need. Don't give up! Love takes work!
Hi! I came here through Nerdine.
I have always believed that there is a natural balance to love. At times, the scales may tip more in favor of one, and at other times, the other. It's never an even scale, but it does even out.
There may be other aspects of the relationship where he may give more than you do, and you may just not realize it. Love is about give and take, and about coming to a compromise about issues that both are important to you.
I think that continued communication between the two of you will make you both more aware of what you both want and need. Don't give up! Love takes work!
Hello,
Passing through by way of nerdine as well!
Oh, love, sweet love ...
My partner and I currently are in a great deal of turmoil. We love each other, but we "hate" our problems.
This is how we deal with it .... our love for each other is seperate (although affected by) the problems in the relationship.
BALANCE is our goal, it is the ideal, it is something to strive for ... but I think that it is rarely acheived for long periods of time.
Peace and Blessings.
Lil Sparrow
Hi, I came via Nerdine, too.
I also believe that any relationship requires balance, however this doesn't always happen. Often it is more one-sided than balanced. My husband and I have been together for 23 years, and during that time, we have been off-balance at times. A lot of talking (yes, arguing, too), and listening to the other's needs, and compromise, usually solves most problems. Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree. No relationship is perfect, there will always be some things where you give more, or he gives more, so it seems off-balance. Then next time it is vice-versa. A lot of give and take is required. Life wasn't meant to be easy. Challenge makes us all stronger. Good luck, don't give up.
Take care, Meow
Hei der! Tar det bare på norsk jeg. Vet ikke om du husker meg men vi møttes ihvertfall i Nerdines (holder meg til bloggenavnet:) 30-årsdag. Så bildet av deg i bunaden, du var kjempefin. Var det han fyren ved siden av deg du skriver om? Håper det ordner seg, er redd jeg har ikke erfaring til å gi noe slags råd men jeg kan sende gode tanker. Tenkte bare si hei på deg di heks!
Thank you all for your uplifting words! I sometimes think that distance is good. Both distance to the one I love, and making a distance to what I feel. If I achieve this last kind of distance more often, maybe I can also manage to see our relationship in a clearer way. I get so involved that my focus gets small. If I get the distance, I will have a more whole picture to look upon.
I know a relationship takes loads of work. I only hope he doesn't give up on me just yet...!
Thanks again!
-shaneena
Ahhh, relationships!
Just remember, we men are rather thick and really don't always get it, especially when it comes to intuitively understanding a woman. We usually need it spelled out for us. It's not that we don't care, it's just that we're busy fixing things, watching things, solving problems and wondering when lunch starts.
On the other hand, if your boyfriend only wants it one way - his... then he will need to smarten up!
Gary: Thanks for your reply! It's always good to hear how a guy thinks from a guy. I mean, what you say is how I have understood it to be... That I have to spell out things... I guess sometimes I forget that he is a guy, expecting him to think the way I do...!
It sometimes seems he only wants things his way... I'm not quite sure if that is how he sees it though...!
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