100 Facts about me

1. I'm 171 cm tall (5'6)
2. I have green eyes
3. My hair used to be straight... but have somehow decided to become curly in the last two years...
4. I broke my arm after having watched James Bond at the cinema... this was after my exams in 1999.
5. I am a theater nurse
6. I work in a hospital doing heart surgery
7. Almost every day I hold another persons heart in my hand
8. I'm glad to be able to help people, but I must admit I don't find the job challenging anymore
9. I attend an evening school to become a painter
10. I love playing with colors!
11. I find painting meditating, and can do it for hours without sensing that time passes
12. I want to sell my paintings,
13. and perhaps to make a living out of it in one way or the other...
14. I own my own apartement (or the bank owns it...)
15. I love the feeling of owning my own home
16. I love to have people come for visit
17. I am a member of a cooking club
18. Every time we cook for eachother, we must cook something we have never made before
19. I don't always succeed in my cooking...
20. But mostly it tastes quite good!
21. I enjoy wine
22. But often get headaches from red wine
23. I enjoy beer
24. and whiskey
25. I never drink too much
26. I've never drunk untill I don't have any memory of what has happened
27. I don't smoke
28. I tried to learn to smoke (since there were so many finding it tasty, there had to be something to it, right?? Wrong...!)
29. I've tried to snuff once
30. I've moved 12 times
31. I've lived in Bali
32. I learned how to drive a motorbike in bali
33. I was an act model while living in Bali
34. I was drawing other act models while living in Bali
35. I was living with my Balinese boyfriend
36. Once we stayed in his village with his family... sleeping in the same bed... all five of us... (comfy...? Not exactly...)
37. I can speak a littlebit of Indonesian (Terimakasi banyak!)
38. I've been to 28 different countries
39. I have collected sand from four different continents (Australia, Asia, Africa and Europe)
40. I am a zen buddhist pagan-viking who acknowledges Tao... if there is ever someone who can be called something like this...
41. I believe there is only one God, and that all religions are different, but the same.
42. I believe our most difficult task in this life is to truly be who we are.
43. I love my lavalamp (Mathmos)
44. I have lived in England
45. I lived in a campervan in England
46. I have taken a class to become a crystal healer
47. I have lots of crystals in my apartment...!
48. And I often work with them, removing crystals that are inapropiate, picking up crystals that fits the purpose...
49. I attended different pagan ceremonies while living in England
50. I have attended some of these ceremonies sky clad (at night)
51. I read tarot
52. Some even say I'm good at it
53. I've worked as a canvasser in England, selling windows and doors
54. I've been a driver for the same company
55. When I moved to England I had almost all I owned packed on my motorbike (85 kilos of luggage...)
56. Before I left for England, I sold, gave away or threw away most of my belongings (including my bike, fishing pole, guitar, sofa, books, photoalbums, clothes etc)
57. I love books, but unfortunately I don't seem to have the time to read them all...
58. I have a tv from the 1970's
59. I own a motorbike (Kawasaki zr7)
60. I like to sunbathe nude
61. I like listening to different types of music (ambient, electronica, classical, jazz, blues, rock, new age...)
62. I have a computer from 1998 which badly needs a replacement...
63. I have redecorated my apartement by myself
64. I love techical gadgets (although I can't afford all that I want...)
65. I love to push buttons (like my sister...) and to find out how things work...
66. I once picked my stereo to pieces... and managed to put it back together again...
67. I love puzzles...
68. I like woodcarving, and have made a clock that hangs on my wall... it actually looks quite nice...
69. When I was a little girl, I wanted to become a ceramist
70. but I think I understood that even though it might be fun, it wouldn't give me an income to live by...
71. I got my first kiss when I went to language school in Torquay at the age of 15.
72. My first boyfriends name was Asle (at the age of 10 years!), and I have never forgotten about him, since our breakup was the outcome of a misunderstanding...
73. I hope he is happily married!
74. I have a PADI-divers license
75. but I haven't used it since I took the license in 1996
76. I'd love to go somewhere warm and refresh my diverslicense!
77. I love to watch the stars at night!
78. I love to walk in the woods, talking to the trees and the birds and the flowers
79. I sometimes see "ghosts"
80. and I talk to them
81. I can sometimes predict the weather...
82. I often experience Deja Vues
83. I have been run over by a car
84. I was driving the car
85. I was 4 years old at the time...
86. I love to go picking and eating mushrooms...
87. I have a strong intuition
88. I've been driving to a friend in London without a map, and I found it with just making one call...
89. I can write with both hands
90. I always read more than one book
91. I love dancing, both swing, folkdance and salsa
92. I'd love to learn tango
93. I'd love to spend New Years eve in Wienna dancing Walz in one of the big ballrooms there
94. I own land in Bali
95. It's registered in my ex boyfriends name...
96. So perhaps I can't really claim it to be mine...
97. I don't have any children of my own, only a fosterchild in Thailand
98. I would concider having children when I find the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.
99. I would like to have a house with a garden, an atelier, a dog, a cat, a garage with room for two motorbikes and a car, a big cosy kitchen and a nice bedroom with a big bed to make love in...! ;-)
100. I know that if I put my mind to it, all my wishes will come true! :-)

Love at first sight

Have you ever experienced love at first sight?
I have.

It has happened to me a couple of times.
The first time was in eight grade. I remember it very well. We were going to have physics, and was waiting outside our classroom as the bell had just rung. I was standing by the door, waiting for our teacher, when he and two of his friends passed by on their way to the teachers restroom. He was a spit image of my dream... Tall, dark hair, wide grin, flaming blue eyes and a laugh that just made my jaw drop to the floor...! I felt warm and cold inside, felt like I was thrown inside a tumbledryer, I felt like I was standing on stilts on jelly... I had tunnel vision and could no longer remember my name... I just had to know who this guy was... and if I had any chance at all... (which I of course doubted...) I soon found out who he was. His name was Casper... and he was two grades higher than me... For three long years I loved this guy! I spent every schoolbreak in his presence, but I doubt even to this day he ever noticed my presence. I remember making sure I was walking in through the door right after him, so that I could put my hand at the exact spot where he had had his hand a tenth of a second before me... I even had the courage to call him a couple of times... but I would always chicken out and say that I had called the wrong number... just to hear his voice... I even got interested in metal bands, as that was his favorite, and he even played in a band that I went to a concert to hear... I also got interested in basketball... because it was one of his games! His last year at school, we had a school sports day, and I knew he was going skiing with his friends. I didn't have any alpine skiis, so I knew I had to have a booring day at school, playing ball games. I was on team one, playing the first match against team two. We were playing basketball, so at least I was doing something he loved! Then suddenly I think I'm sleeping... because he's standing right in front of me!! Asking what team he's on... the judge says he is on team one...!! I almost fainted...! He was HERE!! On MY team!! I almost started to believe there is a God after all!! And what do you think happens? I run to the opponents basket, he throws me a ball, and I score!! What a thrill!!! I could almost hear weddingbells!! We have a lovely day, playing lots of games... but do you think I can manage to utter a single word to this guy...!!??? NO! My mouth is totally numb and dry, and I can't think of ANYTHING to say to him... What a waste! Then suddenly the day is over... and the year is over... and he is out of my life... like a butterfly that suddenly vanishes. POOOF...

I never told him... perhaps one day I will...!?? What is of importance is that I can recognize the feeling of "Yes!! This man I want to get to know!!" And I have learned that I should take the opportunity! No matter how the situation is, if he is Australian, a warlock or a computer programmer, if he is gay, 60years old or in a relationship... GET TO KNOW HIM!! Cause if I don't, I might never get the chance again. And who knows... perhaps this time I've found Prince Charming!!

(Or if he's committed in an unbreakable way, I might even find another best friend!!)

Personal confession...

What would your house look like if you were going to paint a house that would tell about yourself?? Mine looks like this... at least this is how it looked like yesterday!

I had a clear image of the color of the house in my mind when I started... It was supposed to be something inbetween seagreen, and turquise (to show my connection to the sea and water in general... which I find wery calming and purifying. I wanted to show myself being (or trying to be) creative in a kind of atelier, I wanted the house to be on a beach overlooking water (ocean) (to show that I like having control of certain things...!?) and I wanted the house to be partly round (to illustrate that I don't like to hide things in the corners of my mind...!?). I wanted the doors to be open and warm light flowing out of the door and the windows, so that my friends and family would feel welcome. I wanted a garage for my motorbike(!) (to show that I take care of my values), and I wanted to have a rich rosegarden surrounding my house, to show that life actually is a dance on roses... (beware of thorns...!) And I wanted an Asian inspired roof to show that I have interests in Asian philosohy...! The driveway also shows that I do like some things to be structured in my life...!

Well... that's my personal confession for today...!

15 Things I enjoy doing...

I enjoy listening to the rain!
I enjoy watching the lightning when a thunderstorm passes by!
I like to turn off all electric light in my apartement, and only light it with candellight!
I like to burn incence.
I enjoy cuddling up in my armchair with a cup of tea, and my book.
I definitely enjoy lazy sunday mornings in bed with my boyfriend!!
I enjoy riding my motorbike, especially when I share this interest with my boyfriend, and we travel together to some exciting destination, take a break and sit down to watch the view, talking and have a cup of coffee!
I enjoy sunbathing... nude...
I enjoy skinnydipping...!
I like travelling... anywhere! But mostly to new destinations...! (I collect countries, and have been to 28...)
I love kissing... cuddling and being close to my partner.
I enjoy painting (I attend a paintingclass two evenings a week)
I like going fishing (it's almost like meditating, only better... because you're out in the nature, and might also get a fish or two!)
I love walking in the mountains... especially in the autumn...
I love to be out at sea in the summertime, hearing the sound of the seagulls, the waves hitting the side of the boat, the smell of the water and the fresh air, feeling the sun warm my skin and my soul...!

Live without concern.

"Life can become a celebration if you know how to live without concern. Otherwise life becomes a long prolonged disease, an illness which culminates only in death.

You need to learn everything because you have forgotten your nature completely. Now psychologists are proposing that there must be training for love, because people are by and by forgetting how to love. Much literature has come into existence: 'The art of Love', 'How to Love'. People have even completely forgotten sexual orgasm, sexual ecstasy. No animal needs any training! Even trees seem to be more intelligent than you.

Everything has to be taught, even the very basics of life have to be taught. That means that somehow we are uprooted. We have lost contact with nature; a gap exists.

And if you are taught how to love, your love is going to be false. Real love should be spontaneous. How can you be taught to love? If you are taught, then you will act according to the rules and the natural flow will not be there.

Nature does not flow according to your rules; it has its own rules. You have simply to be with it, and it starts functioning. The day is not very far away when we will have to teach people how to breathe. Right now you laugh about it, but if you went back and asked Epicurus, 'Will there be a time when people will have to be taught how to achieve orgasm?' he would have laughed. Because animals achieve it without any taching; no Masters and Johnsons are needed, no Kinsy Report is needed. Animals simply love - love happens naturally."

Another excerpt from the book "When the Shoe Fits"... at least it makes me ponder about "realities" and "trivialities" about life... And perhaps it is true...!? Have we lost life itself??

Thirty things I'd like to do before I die...

1) Travel to all the major sacred sites of the world: Stonehenge, the Great Pyramids, Easter Island, Machu Piccu, etc.
2) Backpack through Europe for a couple months.
3) Trevelling to the different Greek Islands by sailing boat.
4) Visit Nepal, Tibet, Kambodia, Vietnam, rural Japan, New Zealand, and the pacific islands.
5) Ride my motorbike across and around Australia.
6) Learn to ride a horse.
7) Learn how to brew my own beer, and make my own wine.
8) Grow a garden of herbs and know their medical uses.
9) Own my own dog.
10) Build my own home.
11) Sail around the world.
12) Visit all seven continents. (Two left!)
13) Become a master of philosophy, religion, and mythology. (If not on paper, then by knowledge!)
14) Learn Tai Chi and Chi Gung in a way that makes my days float!
15) Go on a long distance wilderness backpacking trip.
16) Raise my IQ score by at least 30 points.
17) Go Scubadiving in the Red Sea.
18) Reside a year in Italy.
19) At least once try paragliding.
20) Get married...?
21) Go motorbiking in the Alps.
22) Go on a Safari in Africa.
23) Swim with Dolphins.
24) Ride an elephant.
25) Visit Amazonas with a guide.
26) Dance a waltz in one of Wiennas ballrooms.
27) Visit Rio during carnival times.
28) Drive route 66 on a Harley...?
29) Go to the retreatcenter in Pune in India.
30) Meet the Dalai Lama.

What to choose...!?

My friend since 1998 is loosing ground. He is getting slow and does not have the capacity that is needed anymore. I have treated him well... I think... But he's loosing ground... I even tried to help him remember some more, but it's not enough. So, I'm afraid, my only choice is to replace him. And there are two volunteers to take over his place. Both are young and virile, with a fantastic capacity! The only difference I can really make a notice of, is the size! Do I want a BIG one with the capacity to go on for hour upon hour, or do I go for the slimmer version...? I'm not quite sure...!

Of course the price makes a difference aswell... The Big one is actually cheaper to get a hold onto then the more slender one. Perhaps because the slim one is more popular? Of course it is computers I'm talking about... Do I get a stationary pc with a widescreen, or a slender laptop...?? The picture I only added to make it more interesting... :-)

The choice is mine to make...!! It's just so d... difficult...

Wedding, maid of honour!

There has been lots of happiness occuring this summer! And one of my happiest moments this summer was when My best friend got married. Or to be excact, he is gay, and signed a partnership with his Thomas. (I don't know the english term for this, so I hope you'll all forgive me for not using the right terminology...) Joergen asked me to be his maid of honour... and what an honour that is!! We have known eachother for over 16 years... and I don't think there is any other that knows me better than he does... Not even my ex boyfriend knew all he knows... And I know that Joergen also tells me everything.. I guess what I feel for him is as close you can come to unconditional love! (As I feel towards my sister...) Well, anyway. July 21st he and Thomas got married. There is a law in Norway saying that gay people cannot get married in church, but the priest of the church where they live, asked if he could give them a blessing in the church afterall. He have known Joergen all Joergens life, and found it natural to give them a blessing in church. At first there was a judge doing the formalities around the wedding, giving a little speach to the happy couple, and us as best man and maid of honour. Then all four of us went up to the altar, and sat down. The priest had a lovely speach about love. I was very touched, and had to bite my lips not to start weeping. Then I looked over at Joergen, and I could see his eyes rimmed with tears aswell... he looked over at me, and my eyes too got filled with tears... I could feel my lip starting to vibrate... and had to bite it again...!! I also noticed that Joergen looked away, because he would start crying if he held my eye... Thomas too was touched by the beauty of the ceremony! And when they looked at eachother, I couldn't hold myself any longer... heavy tears rolled down my cheek, and I could say goodbye to the makeup I so thoroughly had put on earlier that day...!

When we left chuch, we left in Thomas' Jaguar from 1962! A beautiful vehicle, suited for such an occasion! Back at their house, where the party was going to take place, we were served champagne and strawberries in the applegarden. (They have a big house from the 1920'ies that they have spent 1 1/2 years renovating. And from being a hole, they have managed to build a castle! It includes a big barn that they have cleared out, and this was where we were going to eat dinner.) 96 guests were placed in the barn! And of course we had to speak to all of them! I thought that I would be a bit nervous... but I wasn't! Who was there to be nervous for!? I know Joergen and Thomas so well... and all their friends, and their family...! And I just felt so incredibly honoured that I, of all those good friends and family that he has, was given the opportunity to say a few words in this very special occation!

The dinner was fantastic, with finnish pasties as a precourse, salmon as maincourse, and strawberries as dessert. Excellent wine was served to every course, and we were all joyfull and smiling!

After dinner, we cleared away the tables, and had a proper barn-party! Dancing and having a jolly good time until the sun again was rising over the horizont...!

When the Shoe Fits

This is a book written by Osho. It is a book with stories of the Taoist mystic Chuang Tzu. I believe it can be a guidance to many people... I'll write you the first page in this book that can help enlighten us, and teach us how to go through a personal development:

"Chu'i the draftsman could draw more perfect cicles freehand than with a compass. His fingers brought forth wpontaneous forms from nowhere. His mind was meanwhile free and without concern with what he was doing. No application was needed, his mind was perfectly simple and knew no obstacle.

So when the shoe fits, the foot is forgotten; when the belt fits, the belly is forgotten; and when the heart is right, 'for' and 'against' is forgotten.

No drived, no compulsions, no needs, no attractions: then your affairs are under control.
You are a free man.
Easy is right.
Begin right and you are easy.
Continue easy and you are right.
The right way to go easy is to forget the right way
and forget that the going is easy."

Personally I find the passage I have made bold, a very fitting passage... It is so true! So simple, and so true...! And I can actually apply it onto many things in my life! The challenge is to do what Chuang Tzu makes a point of in the book... to let go...! Read it...! I can't really explain well enough what is said in the book, without giving even more excerpts... and then I think you would find this to be one of the longest bloggs ever written...!! It is worth looking into anyway...!

Here are some more...!

Motorcycling - a weekendtrip

This weekend I went on a trip with my mc club "Naf Mc"! Every year we have a weekendtrip to somewhere in scandinavia. This year our plan was to travel in Norway, one of the most spectacular places on earth! (If you have read Hitch Hickers Guide to the Galaxy, you would know that Slartibartfast agrees with me in this..!!)

Friday afternoon I met up at the Clubhouse, awaiting several bikers to show up. They didn't... Only Bj?rn Even showed up. We didn't know eachother from before, but soon found out that we were the only ones to travel from the clubhouse at this time...! We had a glance at the map, and decided to take the quickest route to H?nefoss and then to decide if we wanted to go for a extra tour, or go directly to Nesbyen where we would meet up with the rest of our gang (totally 9 guys and 2 gals, the only girl driving was me...!) On our way we had a cloudburst unlike normal conditions here in Norway... We were soaken in seconds... and even if we put on raingear, we decided to still go for the shortest route to Nesbyen. It was quite heavy traffic aswell, so we used apx three and a half hours on the road.

In Nesbyen we decided to rent a cabin. We knew that our foreman would bring a lavvo. But having regards of the rain, we decided for a cabin anyway! We were three men, and me in our cabin. (I was hostess of course!) And set the rules for how things should work out in our cabin! I think the guys only thought it was good that someone took charge...!

Soon one after the other came to the camping area. We had some food, and then something to Warm us upon... beer... whiskey... cognac... you name it... we had it...! We had lots of fun, telling jokes and stories, laughing our hearts out! And hours passed! I and one other guy was at last in bed... at 3 o'clock in the morning... After a few hours sleep, we had to get up, start packing our gear together, and to get going! And over the mountains we flew...! The road went high up, between rocks and sheep!! And there was not a breath of wind...! The mountain lakes lay as silent as mirrors between the mountain tops... reflecting the colors of grey from the clouds above! So beautiful! On our way down from the mountain, the road went steep and in hairpin bends...! On one side of the mountain the road was wet, and on the other side, it was dry! Talk about local rain!

Further down we came to a viewpoint with the most spectacular view over the Aurlandsfjorden! It was like a bridge going out over the treetops, and at the end, there was a thick glasswall, leaning outwards in a 75 degree angle, strong enough to lean on, which gave a very exciting feeling in my stomach while watching the view...!!!

On the road again there was many kilometers with tunnels before we could reach Stalheimskleivane. And who wants to see Norway on the inside...??? Not me anyway!! It's dark, cold and turbulent to drive a motorbike... no favorit at all... But Stalheimskleivane was worth every kilometer inside the mountains!! And I'm SO glad I didn't have to push my bike up those hills...!! 'Steep' has a new meaning after this trip!!

Then we headed for Voss, and the camping there. Unfortunately there were no cabins available... only one from our company had pre booked a cabin, but with room for only four persons. So me and 7 guys had to sleep in the lavvo...! And guess what... I loved it!! Intimate and cosy!! Luckily the rain stayed away, so we woke up in the morning nearly as dry as when we went to bed...! We only found traces of morning dew on our sleeping bags. It was fascinating though, to wake up with someone elses nose only centimeters from my own...!! A nose I don't usually wake up next to...! But I guess that's the charm on going on trips like this!

We sadled up again, and headed towards Oslo again. Took a ferry from Buravik to Brimnes (where I just had to borrow a viking helmet from a boy from Holland! - see picture) and then went on towards Eidfjord and V?ringsfossen, a waterfall that is very well visited by tourists. It too is very spectacular... (and you must be wondering if that is the only word I know of... which probably at the moment is correct...!) Onwards we went over the Hardangervidda before coming down to Geilo where we had some pizza. From there, there was not very much to talk about... we were tired after two nights with little sleep, and a mind full of wonderful images from our fantastic nature. Entering Kongsberg, the rain finally came, and Oslo greeted us with heavenly water...! Our trip was over... even though we still wanted it to last. Having such positive and joyful memories, we didn't want it to end at all...!

Next year... I don't know where we will go... perhaps to Stocholm!? If we can get in touch with a club there who will show us around!?!

Book Tag...

One book that changed your life ?I guess there are lots of books which deserves to be mentioned here... but since it says one book... I guess I have to choose one... And the one that pops to my mind is "The Alchymist" by Paoulo Coelho. It made me think twice about why I felt like going all over the world to settle the unease I felt inside...

One book you have read more than once? The Alchymist...!

One book you would want on a desert island? The Alchymist...!!

One book that made you laugh? There are several books that have made me laugh... but one I could not put aside, even at work was "Harry Potter and the philosophers stone". I just had to read in my lunchbreak, and was laughing out loud in our commonroom... everybody was looking suspiciously at me... and when I showed them I was reading, it seemed they understood. They tried to ask me what I was laughing at, but I could'n manage to form any sentences at all... my mouth wide in a grin!!

One book that made you cry? "Lasso rundt fru Luna" by Agnar Mykle. A norwegian writer from the 1950's, amongst other things telling about his close relationship with his brother. It made me cry, and appreciate having a sister, making me realize how much she means to me.

One book you wish you had written? A users manual to a perfect relationship...!

One book you wish had never been written? I don't know... maybe all the books about religion...? If they hadn't been written, maybe there would have been peace on this earth...??

One book you are currently reading? "Magician" by Raymond E. Feist, "When the shoe fits" by Osho... I always read more than one book...!!

One book you've been meaning to read? I've been meaning to read "Anna Karenina" by Leo Tolstoy for ages... but it seems a difficult task... I always seem to find other books to read first...!

Ok... I'm dating again... and meeting all these great guys. Really, they are great! They have humor, they have interests that I share, some even look great... but I only start getting feelings for the one who turns me down... Why!? Is it because he is out of reach? Is it because I when all comes to all doesn't want a boyfriend? Is it because I actually like being single and seeing different guys??

I've come to the conclusion that I should have one guy to dance with, one (or two) to discuss with, one to go on motorcycle trips with, one to make love to and one to travel with...